Something Missing In Your Life? Don’t Be A Complainer. Be A Creator.

Here in Fargo, we have a saying:child playing with Legos

“Create the kind of community that you want to be a part of.”

I love this advice because it’s applicable to so many scenarios.

Your career. Your professional network. Your circle of friends. Your family. Your health.

Living and working in a smaller city like Fargo has forced me to take the initiative and create my opportunities.

A few years ago, I wanted to learn from one of my favorite writers… so I personally invited her to come up to Fargo and I put her up in a lovely hotel for the night. She said “Yes!”

I went to TEDMED in San Diego and dreamed of bringing a similar experience to Fargo. Serendipity intervened and I’ve been involved in TEDxFargo since it began in 2012.

For many years, Tonya Stende and I have had discussions on women and leadership. We got involved in the creation of 35 Under 35, TEDxFargoWomen, Women Connect through the Chamber, and Women’s StartUp Weekend. We rallied great women like Tammy Miller, Sher Thomsen, Jodi Heilman, Susan Gartin, Jodee Bock, Pam McGee, Chris Thompson, Carrie Leopold, Katie Hutton, Deb Eslinger, Carol Schlossman and many others. And we’re not done yet.

In my practice, I’m always looking at ways to educate my patients and others to lead happier, healthier and more beautiful lives. We did a webinar and live Twitter chat this summer. We do frequent seminars at the office. And of course, writing for you each week is a blessing that I don’t take lightly. The root of the word doctor means teacher, and through writing I hope to teach and perhaps inspire you toward positive change.

Sometimes being a creator means being aware of all the good stuff that is already here.

When it comes to kids, there is a lot going on already! Sports galore, College for Kids at MSUM, Camp Invention, art experiences at the Plains…. The list is endless. We had a blast at the Park Board’s Fall FestivaI last weekend. It seems there is always something to celebrate in our region!

I let my son Grant know what’s going on and he helps choose things he wants to try. Hockey and soccer were not his thing, but he’s a great swimmer. He wants to try fencing and karate. He loves KidzBop and expressed interest in music lessons, so he starts next week at Elevate School of Rock. He’ll give drums and guitar a try, and hopes to join a band in the next few months.

Kari Bucholz is a shining example of a creator. Her son Haley has dyslexia, but Kari struggled to find services to would help him. She researched options, became a specially trained tutor and opened a center, Haley’s Hope, to create services with trained tutors for many other kids who have dyslexia. Grant is blessed to work with Alison from Haley’s Hope after school twice a week.

Sometimes there is too much on my calendar. I don’t want to run myself or my son ragged. So we take time for lazy Saturday mornings and Legos too.

Yet, when I look back at the incredible experiences I’ve gotten to enjoy here in Fargo and elsewhere:  the brilliant people I’ve met, the stories I’ve heard, and the rich experiences for my son…..I’m so glad that I took the initiative to get things rolling or to sign up, support and take advantage of another creator’s gift.

While I’m certainly not perfect, and certainly have a few mopey moments like anybody else, generally speaking: I am proud to be a “creator” instead of a “waiter” or a “complainer.”

My friend Susan Hyatt hails from small-town Indiana and has a saying of her own:

“Create what you crave.”

Such simple advice, yet so powerful.

No party? Throw one.

No workout class at the time you want? Start one.

Miss your friends? Reach out and make some plans.

The kids are bored? Sign them up for something different and cool. Or create what they need.

Be the gas on the fire. Be the initiator. Be the change. Participate.

People in your community will be so grateful that you took the lead, and meanwhile… you’ll be ensuring that all of your important cravings get met.

It goes a long way toward happy, healthy and beautiful. Nothing feels better than that.


~ Dr. Sue